Saturday, 18 March 2017

An Alternative Phonetic Alphabet

As a Geordie, when I speak to people on the phone they often confuse my 'A's with my 'E's, so when spelling words verbally I often have to use the phonetic alphabet.  The offical phonetic alphabet is very formal and efficient, but it's also quite boring, so just to confuse people, it's fun to use alternative words that sound like letters themselves, and say things like...

Gnomes.
E for Eye  (E for I)
Y for You  (Y for U)
S for See  (S for C)
A for Aye  (A for I)
E for Ewe  (E for U)

It's also fun to confuse people altogether with silent letters and unusual pronunciations such as...

P for Pterodactyl
K for Knowledge
W for Wrinkle
P for Phonetic
G for Gnome

Here's an alternative phonetic alphabet (featuring misleadingly pronounced words) that me and a few work colleagues came up with during one of our breaks (and definitely not when we were supposed to be working).

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Bread Bun, Bap, Cob, Scone, Roll, Barm Or Muffin?

Controversial questions: The bread debate.


On the Charles Fudgemuffin blog we're not afraid to tackle controversial issues, and so this week I take a look at a question which has divided many people and produced a variety of opinions.

It's a straight forward but controversial question.  Take a look at the following photo and then answer a simple poll...  What is it?

Bun, bap, cob, scone, roll, barm or muffin?

Saturday, 4 March 2017

10 Unusual Town Names

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at towns and villages with weird names.  The towns are from all around the world, and despite their unsual names, they're all real places...

Na na na na na na na na...

1) Batman


As well as being the alter ego of [spoiler alert] Bruce Wayne, Batman is also the name of a town in Turkey.

Amusingly, back in 2008 the mayor of Batman threatened to sue Warner Bros for not asking his permission to use the name Batman in the movie 'The Dark Knight'.  I'm no expert on copyright law, but here are two facts which may explain why the mayor of Batman never actually went through with his legal threat...

* Batman first appeared in Detective Comics 27 published in May 1939.
* The town of Batman was previously called Iluh.  It's name wasn't changed to Batman until the 1950s.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Random Thoughts (Part 3)

Dentists, double glazing, and the secret to immortality.


Here are a few more random thoughts on a variety of random subjects...

"They're going for a walk without us again..."

1) How a dog sees the world...


When you go to work each morning, your dog probably thinks you're going for a walk on your own for eight hours.



2) Poor counting skills


A survey was recently carried out which asked people, "Who would you most like to run a three-legged race with?'  Top of the list of answers was Holly Willoughby, which is a perfectly understandable choice.  However, at number four on the list was, surprisingly, 'Ant and Dec.'

Ant and Dec?

In a three-legged race?

Maths must be different nowadays from when I was at school because back in my day that would have been a five-legged race.

Saturday, 18 February 2017

Coincidental Company Names

Original names for electronic companies are
harder to think of than you might expect.
When writing 'Crime Doesn't Pay' my recently released short story collection, for one of the stories I needed to think of a name for a fictitious electronic company.  I therefore got my thinking cap on and came up with...

Integrax

However, after a quick Google search it turns out that by coincidence Integrax is already a real company!

I didn't want to get into any legal difficulties over copyright, so I went back to the drawing board and came up with...

Tridox

Apparently, it turns out Tridox is already the name of a medicine.  It's also the name of  a self curing, non-epoxy plastic adhesive cement.  I have to admit I'm not sure what a self-curing non-epoxy plastic adhesive cement is exactly, but whatever it is, there's already one called Tridox.

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Sayings From Around The World (Valentine's Day Special)

A Valentine's Day themed blog post.
When I was first learning Swedish I bought a Swedish phrase book and one of the things which surprised me was the 'Romance section' of the phrase book.

Incredibly, the phrase book included four expressions for how to tell a Swedish woman, 'Sorry, I'm not interested,' and only one phrase to express interest.  I have to say, whoever wrote the guide book must clearly have never have met any Swedish women, as all the Swedish women I've ever met would most definitely not prompt me to say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested.'

Anyway, although I'm not fluent in other languages, I nevertheless still find foreign sayings and expressions interesting, so in honour of Valentine's Day, here are a few romantic phrases from around the world...

Saturday, 4 February 2017

'Guess The Sign' Quiz

Signposts are a part of everyday life.  They're also quite boring, so you may be wondering why I've decided to have a quiz on them!

Well, although the majority of signs are indeed boring, the signs featured in this week's quiz all appealed to my daft sense of humour.

The text from each of the following signposts has been deleted, so see if you can guess what each sign originally said...

1) African Sign


This first sign is an amusing sign from Africa.  I've erased the text, but bearing in mind the antelope silhouette, can you guess what the sign originally said?


Yes, that's right!  As you've probably guessed the sign says...

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.