Saturday, 21 April 2018

True or false: Weird national days

There are some weird and wacky national holidays to celebrate seemingly almost everything imaginable, so in recognition of these weird and wonderful national days, this week I spotlight some of the most weird of the lot. However, to test your detective skills, I've also thrown a few fake days into the mix.

So how astute are you? Which of the following are real national days, and which are just silly fictitious days which I've just made up?

"Why thank you! Very kind of you to notice."

1) Jan 24th - National Compliments Day


This is a cool day - a day dedicated to paying compliments to your friends and colleagues. So in honour of National Compliments Day, I'd like to say "Well Done! Great job!" to whoever invented this day.

National Compliments Day - True or false?

Saturday, 14 April 2018

Things that come in twos.

The Boy With Two Heads
... a short story about a boy with two heads.
Many things come in twos. For examples, glove, socks, tennis players, and salt and pepper shakers.

Another thing that comes in twos, is the number of heads on the boy with two heads! The boy with two heads is the star of my latest short story called, surprisingly enough, 'The Boy With Two Heads'.

So on the theme of twos, here's a random selection of other things which come in twos...

1) Gloves


Unless you're Michael Jackson!

If your girlfriend has a pair of these, she's a keeper.

Saturday, 7 April 2018

Cats and dogs: Random thoughts and observations.

April 11th is National Pet Day, so in honor of our our pets, here are a few observation about cats and dogs...

"Meow!" "Woof!"
1) If you died at home, your dog would be found sitting next to your corpse looking sad. Your cat would be found sitting staring at its empty food bowl.


2) When the doorbell rings, why do dogs always assume it's for them?


3) Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto stands on four legs? They're both dogs.


Saturday, 31 March 2018

Life is like a box of chocolates.

Surely nobody throws away ice cream!
That would be extremely foolish!
A recent study found that the UK throws away an incredible £13 billion worth of food every year! There are just over 63 million people living in the UK, so that works out at £205.75 wasted per person. Just think of what you could buy with £200! You could buy every book and short story ever published by Charles Fudgemuffin, and still have over £175 left over!

Anyway, it got me thinking how important it is not to waste food, and I remembered this lesson when I recently received a box of chocolates as a thank you gift for a small favour I did for a friend. Although I appreciated the gesture, unfortunately I suffer from a chocolate allergy, so I was unable to enjoy the chocolates. I didn't want to appear ungrateful though, so I accepted the gift, and rather than throw the chocolates away, I decided instead to take them into work and leave them in the canteen with a message for people to help themselves.

Saturday, 24 March 2018

Bizarre questions

I've featured stupid questions before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but as a slight twist this latest batch of questions features weird and bizarre questions which were all asked by curious people on answers.com.

First of all, here's a question which I'm sure everyone has wondered at one time or another...

1) How do you make a bike using fur from a chipmunk?


"You don't!"

I think the reply sums it up. 'You don't'!

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Funny Job Application Answers (Part 3)

Meteorology ... the perfect training for a job as a stock broker.
I've featured funny job application answers previously on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and here's another batch of silly job application responses, interview answers and CV entries from job applicants...

1) Why do you want the job?
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here.

2) Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it:
I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.

3) I refer to the recent death of the technical manager. Each time I apply for the job I get a reply saying there's no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red-handed and I even attended his funeral to be sure he was truly dead and buried. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.

Saturday, 10 March 2018

Random thoughts on aliens

My latest alien themed short story 'We Come In Peace' is released this weekend for kindle, so to celebrate this week's blog post is a selection of random alien themed thoughts...

The first man on the moon was an alien backwards.
1) Maybe there's an advanced alien civilisation millions of light years away watching the Earth with their telescopes, and they really want to visit us, but they're scared of all the dinosaurs.


2) Neil A was the first human on the moon. Neil A backwards is Alien.


3) If aliens looked at earth, they would see the majority of humans losing consciousness as the earth rotates away from the sun. They would probably assume we are powered by photosynthesis.

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.