Saturday, 24 June 2017

Micromorts: The Risk Of Dying (Part 2)

The risk of death can be measured statistically.
I've mentioned before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog that there's actually a unit to measure the risk of dying known as the 'micromort'.

Just to recap, a micromort is a million to one chance of dying, so an activity with a 5 micromort rating would carry a five in a million chance of death.

This week I look at the micromort rating for a few more activities, starting with a comparison of how the safety of various forms of travel compare...

1) Transport

I love travelling around the world, so it's just as well that I'm not afraid of flying.  However, anyone who is afraid of flying should check out the figures below* which compare the risk of travelling 1,000 kilometres by various forms of transport...

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Surprising Financial Statistics

This week's blog post has a financial theme to it, but rather than just list random financial facts and statistics, I've instead made it into a two part quiz...

Money, pictured yesterday.

1) Interested in interest

If you put 10 pence in a bank account and got 5% interest every year on the balance in your account, how much would you have after 500 years?

A) £2.55
B) £5.10
C) £84.62
D) £3,932,326,182.72

. . . . . . . .

Saturday, 10 June 2017

10 books that were surprisingly banned.

With recent worrying developments on the internet, such as facebook and twitter deciding what we can and can't read, it's important to remind ourselves of the importance of free speech. I understand the need for age certification, but sadly in many cases the people deciding what we can and can't read are either dangerously deluded, or pushing their own dubious agenda.

Over the years there have been some seemingly innocent books which have surprisingly been banned.  Here are some of the most notable...

This bank note has no value, apparently.

1) The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz by L. Frank Baum

This was banned from libraries in Detroit for allegedly 'supporting negativism' and for 'having no value for children'.

Seriously, there are some crazy people in the world if they think the Wizard of Oz needs to be banned. Not every book has to be about inspiring readers to change the world. Surely some books can just be about having fun!

Sunday, 4 June 2017

How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It

'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'
To clarify, it's a short story collection, not a 'How To' guide!
Today sees the release of a new book from Charles Fudgemuffin entitled 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'.

For the avoidance of any doubt, 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It' is a collection of short stories. It is not a 'How To' guide. Apologies to anyone with sinister intentions who arrived at this page after a nefarious internet search.

'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, and Other Short Stories' is priced at £1.99/$2.99, but the ten short stories from the collection are also available individually. As a promotional offer, one short story will be free each weekend for the next ten weeks! That means if you were to download each free short story each weekend for the next ten weeks, you could get the entire book for free!

The first short story is available for free this weekend, and is entitled 'Is A KitKat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit?'  As you've probably already guessed from the title, 'Is A KitKat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit?' is a story about a local gangster, his closest life-long friend, and a local punk.

Saturday, 27 May 2017

10 Funny Quiz Show Answers (Part 5)

"Howard be thy name."
It's been a while since I last featured silly quiz show answers on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are another batch of foolishly amusing quiz show answers from contestants who forgot to put their brains in gear before they spoke...

1) "What was Gandhi’s first name?"
Answer: "Goosey."

2) "Name something made of wool."
Answer: "A sheep."

3) "In the Lord’s Prayer, what word beginning with 'H' meaning 'blessed' comes before 'be thy name'?"
Answer: "Howard."

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Funny Football Quotes (Part 9)

Football. It's a funny old game.
Another Premier League season comes to an end tomorrow, so as has become traditional on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, here's another batch of amusing football quotes from players, managers, pundits and commentators...

1) “Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead.”
…David Pleat

2) “I didn't see the ball. I just saw it going to my right.”
…Robert Green

3) “Maths is totally done differently to what I was teached when I was at school.”
…David Beckham.  I think English is ‘teached’ differently as well by the sounds of it, David.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Funny Job Application Answers (Part 2)

A few mistakes to avoid when applying for a job...

The Spinach language.
One of my previous blog posts on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog which got a lot of page views was my round-up of 'Funny Job Application Answers'.  There have been many more silly answers by job applicants, so here's another batch of amusing answers taken from CVs, job application forms and job interviews...

1) Strengths: One of my greatest strengths is being able to identify many foreign accents. I am also bilingual, speaking three languages: English, French and Spinach.

2) Why do you want to work for this company?
Because I applied at 100 other companies and none of them have called me yet.

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.