Three sheep. Or if you round up to the nearest hundred, one hundred sheep.

Before I get to this week's round-up of nerd jokes, I'll start things off with an impossible promise from Bill Clinton which I think he might struggle to achieve...

1) "Every American should have above average income, and my administration is going to see they get it."
...Bill Clinton


2) I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison, but unfortunately you can't end a sentence with a proposition.


3) After working in the farmer's field one day, a sheepdog reported back to the farmer...

Sheepdog: "That's me finished for the day. All 100 sheep are in the sheep pen."
Farmer: "100 sheep? But I only have 98 sheep."
Sheepdog: "Yeah, but I rounded them up."


4) Never trust atoms. They make up everything.

"Leave in the oven for -3 minutes."

5) The pizza I bought says to leave it in the oven for 12-15 minutes. How do I put something in the oven for -3 minutes?


6) A statistician is someone who tells you if you put your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven then on average you'll be very comfortable.


7) What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?
An extra electron.


8) There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who are good at maths and those who aren't.


9) There are 10 types of people in the world...
Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who mistake it for binary.

The Royal Mint.

10) Finally, if you've ever thought you don't get paid what you deserve, here's the scientific explanation why...

Power = Work / Time

Therefore...

Time = Work / Power

However, knowledge is power and time is money.

Therefore...

Money = Work / Knowledge

Therefore as knowledge increases, money decreases...

So the more you know, the less you get paid!




You can find more nerd jokes at the links below:
10 nerd jokes (part 2)
10 nerd jokes (part 3)