Saturday, 30 January 2016

Five Stupid Sayings (Part 3)

Insect anatomy, poor Geography and unusual precipitation...


Previously on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've taken a look at various silly sayings found in the English language.  There are many more stupid Engish sayings though, so here are five more...

"Look at the knees on that bee! Wow! Amazing!"

1) The bee's knees


This is a weird English saying which refers to something which is excellent or outstanding.  However, if you ask me, knees aren't particularly impressive, and if I was to be impressed by a pair of knees then I very much doubt that they would belong to a bee!

There are various theories on how this saying originated, but the most plausible is that the saying originated as 'the be all and end all'.  This was then shortened to 'the Bs and Es', and if you say this really fast it sounds a bit like 'the bee's knees'.

So it's not as stupid as it sounds after all!  Although, admittedly it's still quite stupid.

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Trivial 999 Emergency Calls (Part 2)

...or trivial 911 calls, as they're known in the US.


"Yes, I have a bacon related emergency..."
As I've mentioned before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, some misguided people seem to regard the 999 emergency helpline as a general helpdesk for any random trivial query.

To highlight this problem, the Metropolitan Police recently published a list of some of the stupidest most time-wasting 999 calls they received during 2015. All of the following were genuine 'emergency' calls as reported by the Metropolitan police...

1) Emergency bacon


A hungry dude rang 999 at 4am on a Saturday morning to ask, "Where's the best place to get a bacon sandwich?"


2) "Help, I'm being arrested!"


One woman rang 999 to report that there were men in her house trying to kidnap her.  The men were actually police officers who were there to arrest her.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

A Clever New System For Any High-Tech Modern Office...

An illustration of why some top bosses should listen to their junior staff.


This article gives credit to a brilliant system found in some offices...
I hope this week I don't sound like a technophobic old fogey going on about how great things were in the olden days, because I'm a big fan of modern technology and I totally appreciate the benefits that computers and electronic stuff bring to the world.  However, a recent incident at work highlighted that sometimes it's possible to make the mistake of 'technologising' things just for the sake of it.

To set the scene, at the company where I work we have a computerised 'work allocation system' whereby whenever you take a phone call, you take the details and then log into the system to allocate the task to the person who does that particular job.

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Book Reviews (Part 13)

Time for another round-up of book reviews.


This week I take a look at books from the genres of crime, humour, crime (again) and non-fiction...

Snow White Must Die by Nele Neuhaus

Snow White Must Die by Nele Neuhaus - 4.5 / 5.0


Snow White Must Die is a crime mystery which focuses on events in a small German village after Tobias Sartorius is released from jail having served a ten year sentence for the double murder of two former girlfriends.  There are a lot of plot threads and puzzles to work out, but it all fits together very well and comes across as very plausible, and author Nele Neuhaus provides a well presented ending.  Also, the story focuses more on the mystery behind the crimes, rather than the grisly details, which is what I personally prefer.  One small criticism is that I would perhaps have preferred to see some clues or insights into what actually happened provided a little sooner, but all in all this was an enjoyable crime mystery and I'll definitely be loooking out for future translations of Nele Neuhaus' work.

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Life Goals

Ha, ha! Ow! Ha, ha! Ow! Ha, ha! Aargh!


A sculptural representation of laughter.
In my previous job I worked with a dude who was always laughing, always happy, and whenever he told a story he always seemed to find it hysterically funny.  For the most part, this had a positive effect on every else in the office, as laughter can be infectious (rather like yawning), but there would sometimes be the occasional moment when the laughter was inappropriate.

For example on one occasion we were swamped with work, transferring to a new system and time was running out as we were struggling to make our deadline.  The laughing dude from work was assigned to work on an important report and after a few hours he seemed to be taking rather a long time to complete it, so the manager asked him how we was getting on.  The laughing dude then revealed that unfortunately, just when he was nearly finished, he had forgotten to save the spreadsheet, so hours of work had been wasted and he had had to start all over again!

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.